12 principles I learned from wedding planning (that are applicable to personal finance in general)

1.  details matter -- $6.00 saved on candle holders may not seem like such a big deal when compared with a $5,000 budget, but a dollar here and there quickly adds up to a whole lot of money.

2.  cheapest is not always best -- Some things really are worth the extra money.  Skimp where it doesn't make a difference, so that you can splurge where it does.

3.  bulk is not always best -- Don't buy ten pounds of potatoes for $7.50 if you only need the five pounds of potatoes that you can buy for $5.00.
     Also, CostCo is good for some things, but we actually got a much better deal on wine by finding a local wine shop.  The owner was knowledgeable; thanks to his advice and assistance, we were able to buy good local wines that fit our budget and complimented our menu, and he gave us a bulk discount, since we bought a total of 24 bottles.  In the process, we supported a local business and two good regional wineries (not to mention the Cava).  lesson: Sometimes it's better to skip the national warehouse club and go to the small locally-owned shop.

4.  Be willing to borrow. (I don't mean borrow money; I mean things like corkscrews and clothes steamers).

5.  Be willing to rent. -- We thought we would have to invest in plastic champagne and wine glasses, but it turned out to be more cost effective to rent, given the number of glasses we needed.  Plus, real glasses look better and are better for the environment, since they don't get pitched after the wedding. Bonus lesson:  Sometimes greener is also cheaper.

6.  Be willing to ask for help. -- Your friends and family are resources that want to be used.  Not only do the people you love love to help you, but allowing them to share expertise and/or embark on a project with you is a great way to have fun and bond with them.  Just be sensitive to what your friends' talents and interests actually are: ask them to do something they can't do well, and they're liable to feel frustrated, and you're liable to end up dissatisfied with the results.

7.  Be willing to splurge. -- If you really want it and will regret it later if you do not do or have it, then by all means do it, assuming you can afford it without going into debt or making it impossible to do something more important later.  Do it as cost effectively as possible, but by all means do it.

8.  Be willing to compromise -- I came across a very useful book called Emotionally Engaged (by Allison Moir-Smith), on the subject of preparing mentally and emotionally for marriage.  While not all of it applied to me personally, I really appreciated what the author said about the role wedding planning plays in setting the stage for marriage.
     Her point is that many couples have never had the experience of planning anything together that's more complicated than an evening on the town, and suddenly they are planning this major event that involves both their families, all their friends and an expenditure of several thousand dollars.  There will be disagreements in the process; attempt to make the most of them by viewing this as an opportunity to learn how to communicate with each other and how to deal with conflict (better now, in a fairly safe environment, then later when major issues are at stake -- like how to care for aging parents, whether to have kids, etc.).  Don't just give in to all the other person's wishes, and don't fail to consult the other party and choose to do it all your own way.  If you can't manage to make your wedding a reflection of the two of you as a couple, then when will you learn to work together and to develop your identity as a couple?
     Reconcile yourself to the fact that having your wedding be an expression of the two you together may involve spending money on some things you wouldn't choose to spend money on if you were doing this on your own. -- Also note, however, that you may have to compromise by not spending money on some things you would splurge on if you were doing this on your own.

9.  Craigslist and e-bay are your friends.  Buy it used if you can, and pass it on when you're finished with it, unless you have a good reason for keeping it.

10.  Avoid going into debt at all costs (unless it's absolutely necessary, but I can't think why it would ever be absolutely necessary to go into debt for a wedding).

11.  Put your money where your priorities are. -- We added a budget line to help friends with funds, so that they could afford to attend the wedding, and as a result we had to give up wine with dinner.  In the end, our friends couldn't come anyway, so we're back to having wine with dinner.  But the sentiment is still valid.  No one can do everything, so when making a choice about how to spend your money, ask yourself why you're spending it.  What value or cause does this purchase support?  We wanted our friends, who are traveling a long distance to come to the wedding, to have a nice dinner (thus, wine), but it's way more important to give them the opportunity to be with us in the first place, so that we can share the day with them.
      Similarly, if wedding spending is stopping you from spending funds on something more important, either now or in the future (be it buying a house or helping a sick friend), you might want to rethink your wedding spending.  If you can't think of a good reason why you're buying it, you probably don't need it.

12. Just because you save money in one place, is no reason to spend it in another -- This is the area where I most need work:  Spent $6.98 on jewelry but budgeted $20 or $25?  Great (thanks, e-bay)!  That doesn't mean you need to add that amount of money somewhere else in your budget.  It isn't free, found money that you're somehow obligated to spend.  If the best way to use that extra money is to buy flowers, fine, but don't just spend it on something simply because you budgeted to spend a certain amount overall.  There's no crime in coming in under-budget.